LA Protocol

We have new friend who’s just moved here from New York, who is very New York. Basically she’s wonderful, but I can’t help but think that we’ll have her eating kale chips soon enough. Los Angeles just absorbs you. You can’t help but conform to some of the standard protocol, and the irony of it all is that you will never fit in unless you’re an individual.

Other ways you know that you’ve adopted the LA Way of Lyfe?

  1. Going to spin and then walking to get juice after
  2. Wearing LuLu Lemons with pride… (even though I do have a tendency to put mine on backwards/inside out)
  3. Befriending local bartenders and sushi restaurants
  4. Knowing where to get drinks, where to get drunk, where to take your friend who’s visiting from Utah, where to get drunchies, where to go on a date, where to go on a Tinder date, and where to get the best food from a hole in the wall off of Wilshire.
  5. Learning to drive both the 405 and surface streets like your playing Mario Kart (Get outa my way Peach, ya bish)
  6. You firmly believe that signage displaying things like “No U-Turns” are more like suggestions
  7. Making a steadfast rule not to date anyone in The Industry
  8. Knowing that The Industry is film
  9. Having, at one time or another, spent WAY too much on alcohol, Ubers, live shows, music festivals, or all of the above
  10. Having conversations with your girlfriends that start off with some saying “Yeah I’d be hot… if I lived someplace like Iowa.” And knowing that someone will always reply with “YES exactly”
  11. Having the main life goal to walk everywhere possible
  12. But also willing to drive inordinately far for that “good Target store”
  13. You’ve seen a homeless person do something disturbing
  14. But you also know their completely harmless
  15. Not giving a crap about celebrities and where they hang out.
  16. But also having a tendency to casually name-drop like, “Oh Jessica Alba goes to my gym. NBD.”
  17. Having the low down on which celebrities are gay. Like my roomate’s sister’s cousin’s dance teacher is having an affair with Justin Timberlake. Oh and you know Leslie, yes you do, the one who came out with us that one time. Well she saw Cara Delevingne and Selena Gomez making out. They’re clearly dating.

Basically if you live in LA.. life is pretty dang good.


Categories: LA Livin', Lists

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