Mundane fact: It took a considerable amount of time for me to develop a true love for vegetables. I’m not entirely sure when it happened. Or if. I think it has? Who knows.

Sure I was raised on things like corn, peas, broccoli, zucchini; but typical for the decade everything was drowned in butter (I can’t believe it’s not! #trademark) and salt and bagged shredded cheese.

And then all of a sudden, without warning, everyone was ordering veggie tacos and veggie salads and veggie pastas. And they were stoked.

At what point did vegetables become exciting?

I spent the next four and half years in straight disbelief.

Typical for the late bloomer that I am, the shift finally struck this year (Side note – who’s up there dictating  the  blooming schedule and whyyyy do they have it out for me?). Regardless, I’m now massively obsessed with the veggie tacos served at Blue Plate Taco. So that’s cool.

Which is why I  stole inspiration from that specific dish, utilizing what I had in my fridge (kale, mushrooms, olive oil, salt, pepper, fried tortillas. No cheese, please and thanks.) Smash success and relatively healthy. At the very least I didn’t feel super lethargic after; benefit of veg.

Alas having my shit together was the previous week, because I somehow fell into A Slump and it’s taken the combined efforts of several loved ones to pull me out.

A Slump:(noun) characterized by an onslaught of self-loathing.  Often propagated by too many days of indulging; i.e. too much wine, too much burrata, too much awake (not enough sleep), and resounding self-absorption (often via The Instagram).

But the usual culprits for A Slump didn’t seem to be the cause, which was making it even harder to pull myself out.

Dax Sheppard always says that when he feels like crap he has a list of things to check in on: did I work out, did I call those people, did I do that thing. For him the stakes are higher. He’s sober with a family and feeling awful can ricochet into something massively detrimental.

So they’re action items, not avoidance items. Things he can control.

I suppose I instinctively do the same but without the official list. As I drove to work on Tuesday I felt consumed by irrational emotions about my hair, my clothes, my words, the frying pan I should have scrubbed, the empty container of burrata in my trash … it drained me.

I swapped the list for a new one: When did I last run? Saturday. It’s now Tuesday. When did I last chat with my dear ones? Well based on the collection of unread texts and Marco Polos … a while. When did I last volunteer? When was the last time I went to bed before 11PM? When did I last journal or talk with God? When did I last change my sheets or do the dishes?

In other words, here’s a Palate Expander piece on veggie tacos which makes it look like I have my shit together, but in actuality I’m losing my mind.

Real talk: the produce I spent way too much on went bad way too quickly. (Gimme all the preservatives. Thanks.) I haven’t used the vitamins I swore I needed. I keep missing the same square inch on my thigh when I shave my legs. And I desperately need to buy both dry shampoo and heat protectant. (My hair, too, is losing its mind.) Oh and lightbulbs. I can’t seem to successfully buy the right ones so I’m living in relative darkness – metaphorically and physically.

Hallelujah-Thank-The-Lord I have this incredible group of people who are always there to ease me through it. Whatever “it” may be.

Starting with the ones who are stuck with me 5 days a week, 8+ hours a day. I verbalized to my lil coworker family how low I was on patience and grace, and they were like “We know.”

Jk jk they were actually like, “No problem.”  Then they kindly left me alone to catch my breath.

At the same time, when I needed help getting things from offsite storage, shipping things out, strategizing how to complete a task, they were right there. A conversation away from talking through a solution.  A text away from helping me complete an errand.

And when my wonderful actual family came into town (providing an excellent excuse to spend my Thursday eating, drinking, and enjoying Malibu), my team of Malibu Beach Inn-ers were the first ones to remind me to disconnect and enjoy the day. I mean shoot… how could I not love them?

On Saturday my dear friend had me over for the most low-key hang out, complete with swimming, homemade dinner (I did the dishes), and movie. Feed my stomach, feed my soul. And got me out of bed.

There may be a lot of things I struggle with, but I’ve been exceptionally blessed with an incredible assortment of people to help me through.

So now, it’s Sunday and I’m rejuvenated, ready to tackle on the next week.

In fact, I’m leaving for the grocery store in a bit so I can figure out what Palate Expander I’ll next whip up.

But for now, here are my veggie tacos: