On Sunday I convinced my mom to come to church with me. Well, I bartered with her. I told her id finally sort through the storage closet in my room in exchange for her company at church.
I was pleased the lesson in the sermon was all about agape love. Something so simple and beautiful and applicable to life.
The pastor spoke about turning on your flashlight of love and beaming all over those around you, regardless of their actions and words.
He also spoke about not being the victim. We are all human and it’s inevitable that we’ll get hurt. But those who hurt you are also human – and just as you are not “The Victim,” they are not “The Bad Guy.”
And then my note from The Universe:
I feel as though the universe is sending me a message: “love thy neighbor” …and I try.. I really do.
So, Dear Universe, I must clarify: I hope that through all these messages you’re telling me to simply love them all as I do. But I hope you can also appreciate me going my own way and detaching.
I am completely incapable of holding a grudge of any kind, and it’s not like I have an ounce of pride to get in my way. So I’m made by God to forgive and re-forge relationships. However, for the time being, I’m content with my actions.
We each have a right to live as we wish – I get to feel exactly as I do in my heart without feeling any sort of remorse or shame. And they get to do the same.
I have such wonderful friends. Old ones and new ones. Family and family-like friends. Work friends and work sisters. I’m so incredibly blessed and I couldn’t ask for me.
If I’ve learned anything these past 24 years, it’s that I need to get out of my own way. I need to do like the Buddhists and not get attached. Whenever the omniscient powers of the universe remove a person from my life, it just makes room for another more wonderful being. And as I grow, so does my group of friends. Like a snake I sometimes have to shed my skin, but I get to keep my guts.
I still have love in my heart for them but it’s exhausting always trying to maintain relationships that don’t naturally fall into place.
And it doesn’t mean I’m not willing to rekindle or apologize or discuss. I’m just ready to move on with my life.
I subconsciously stop dwelling and I’m much happier as a result.
Categories: Musings & Epiphanies