Last night my work BFF came over to drop off an Origins facial mask for me. He was only over for a sec but after walking him to his car we got stuck in conversation for an extended period of time. At one point, after I’d prompted him, Kenny told me that my biggest flaw was my inability to accept change.
He’s stated it so confidently and without hesitation like he’d thought about it before. Because of his demeanor and kindness I didn’t find myself offended or shocked, so I probed him for more. He explained that I get stuck on people – especially men. It’s not that I have poor taste in the opposite sex, but rather I meet these guys who just aren’t a good fit and I struggle to move on.
I don’t know, though, because while I refuse to give up on people until the relationship is completely dead – I also relish change. Yesterday upon deciding that I was completely and utterly single I got the most delicious tingle.
I know I haven’t found The One yet. Mas might have been my soul mate (someone who’s purpose is to brutally show me who I really am and who I’m not), and my last hunny might have been a sweet little rebound to distract me from the trauma of living with my ex, but I have yet to find The One.
I assume The One will be a wonderful human who’s basically my best friend but has sex with me. And wants to build a life with me. Someone who supports me and themselves (and obviously I support them too). I want mini road trips (where we both trade off driving) and blanket forts and hiking and church (and to be a part of the church community). I want flowers and presents (without feeling guilty about the money). And I want to buy them presents too (without it feeling one-sided). I want spontaneity. I want someone who either loves to run with me, or cheers me on at the end of my half marathons. Someone who wants to try new things in the sack, and bang in rando places that risk getting caught (sorry Ma). Someone who doesn’t lie about silly things, but rather communicates (because we trust each other). I want a confidant. A lover. A friend. A partner.
And I’m perfectly content being single until I find someone who treats me right. Because dating someone who treats me like crap messes with my head, which ultimately throws me off my game, and affects how I preform at work. And I’m not interested in being with someone who enjoying getting little power trips at my expense. I’m interested in someone who enjoys working hard. The end goal is to have mutual success as a little power couple. Like Brad and Angelina. Or David and Victoria. It’s attainable and I want it.