The Lonely Part

I suppose this is it – the hard part I was worried about. The part where it’s ten o’clock at night and my best friend is gone and I’m alone. And this is the part where I don’t text my ex hunnies because I’m lonely, and I don’t round up friends to go party, and I don’t head to a bar alone for some shallow company. I suppose this is the part where I suck it up and I sit in my loneliness.

Because I am so blessed and have the most amazing friends. And I still don’t know what I did to deserve Ken – even if it was just for a few months. But now I need to be kind to myself. Love on myself.

Ken showed me I can be treated really well. I fought him on it. It made me so uncomfortable. But ultimately I became so much better for it. And I’m ready to continue to treat myself the way he treated me and maybe attract a few more wonderfuls like him into my life. Maybe even a romantic wonderful.

I’m watching Tangled with the munchkins I babysit, and I’m at the part where she thinks Flynn has left her for the crown. I hafta say, if I was in her shoes, after having a taste of love I could never go back to my tower. Life is so messy but it’s all the pieces that make it wonderful. Even when life doesn’t go the way I particularly want it to – it’s still good. Im sad Ken’s gone and I’m a little lonely… But it’s because I was so lucky to have had him as a friend that I’m able to feel his absence.

I know I live a blessed life. And I’m grateful I’m not the one in control of everything. It feels good to surrender to God and just live and love and suffer and enjoy.

Thankful.

  

Categories: Men, Musings & Epiphanies

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