“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”
One of the most pertinent proverbs I’ve ever come across.
So much so, that this is the third time in my mere 27 years that my soul has found comfort in the string of words. The two sentence phrase, once again, summarizing a new period I’ve found myself transitioning through.
Ya’ll already know that I think life is a series of stories, like HP*, where each event is a cliff hanger, a climax, the end to a chapter. I’m determined to learn from each mistake, while simultaneously feeling it all. Life is not black or white. Life is not good or bad. Life is… experiential. It’s freakin’ rad. And messy. And delicious.
But that one thing – learning from my mistakes – is where I get caught up. Because if I learn, then I won’t repeat. I won’t hurt people the same way. I won’t get into trouble. I won’t disappear into regret. And somehow I end up dwelling in this place of fear, afraid of making the same mistake twice. Which ends up turning into a mistake all on it’s own.
Oh the irony.
Recently, though, an old friend proclaimed over a second glass of wine: “But you’re not the same person you were 4 years ago. You’re not the same person you were 4 months ago. You’re not going to make the same mistakes, because you don’t do the same things. You don’t want the same things.” (This welcomed lecture may have ended with “so have sex on a Wednesday” but that’s besides the point.)
I’m not the same person I was. The mistakes I make, are going to be different. And she’s right.
But so now, here I am, transitioning into this next phase, ready with open arms for all the new mistakes and pains that await me.
My African proverb – If you want to go fast, go alone – that’s where I was. I spent the last year and a half hustling hard. I had goals I wanted (re: needed) to accomplish and time was precious. So I shrunk my circle down and focused. And you know what? I did it. I actually accomplished my goals.
I work for an incredible company, with amazing people, creating, and contributing, and entertaining. I sincerely enjoy the grind I get to dedicate my hours to.
I got help launch an incredible NPO –> INFLUX INTERNATIONAL
I’ve spent time helping my girlfriends build websites and blogs and throwing fundraisers.
I have my own blog (obvi). I have my own apartment. I have an organizational structure to both my closet, as well as my week.
I cook. I meal prep. (Shout out to my holistic nutritionist Daniela —> COLOR ME COMPLETE )
I’m a bonafide adult. I eat salmon and do yoga and take vitamins for goodness sake.
And when I turned 27 last month, I realized that this era of “speed and achievement” was coming to a quick culmination.
So the first two weeks in April, those two weeks before I nixed 26, I spent some time chatting with God. I wanted to know what He wanted for me. If I wasn’t supposed to continue on as I was, then how was I to change my behavior.
It turns out, I didn’t have to change, so much as build upon.
The catch, was, this time I needed to go far – so I needed to go with others.
I thought about all the wonderful friends I had, all the women I hadn’t seen recently because I was so focused on my own ishh. I thought about the people who inspired me, whom I would be honored to spend more time with. And then I sought them out.
So here I am sitting on my couch, unproductive. I spent all of Saturday day drinking with amazing people. I slept in this morning. I laid in bed watching Netflix. And then I killed an hour on a long ass beach run. I grocery shopped and cooked and ate way too much burrata. And now here I sit, alone, in my little space with the windows open, the smell of rain outside, the smell of incense and sage inside. Happy as a clam; moving slower, but going farther. And I’m so excited for all the pains and surprises and pleasures and joys awaiting me.
(Oh I’m pretty sure the universe thought it apt to reward me for breaking out of my comfort zone with new music. No longer suffering in musical purgatory! Hallelujah!)
*Harry Potter. Duh.